Mindfulness Dr. J's way - Short Explanation

You don’t have to be a Buddhist monk to make mindfulness work. In the modern Western world, John Kabut-Zinn is the guy regarding mindfulness. He defines it this way:

Awareness that arises through paying attention, on purpose, in the present moment, non-judgmentally.

I've simplified that idea for performance, I prefer:

Awareness of the present situation without assessing it as bad.

Awareness is a fundamental pillar of mindfulness, with multiple components.

There are two levels

1. Awareness of the mechanisms that pull you away from the present.
2. The awareness you are assessing the present experience as bad.

Some people realize physical sensations first when they aren’t present. This might be tight shoulders, a flushed feeling, or butterflies in their stomach. Through awareness, you’ll notice the physical sensations you experience are consistent in every experience. When you notice any of these go to sensations, you are present. If you are aware of physical sensations before thoughts, take a minute to explore what you were telling yourself. Your commentary triggers the physical sensations.

Some people realize elevated emotions first when they aren't present.  This might be things like fear, anger, and avoidance of difficult situations or people. If you notice elevated emotional responses, check in on your inner commentary.  What story are you telling yourself about the difficult situation? Like physical feelings, your commentary also triggers emotional reactions.

Some people recognize their negative thoughts first. Thoughts are the culprit in all of the pulls from the present.  This is the "assessing as bad" function mentioned earlier. Check-in on your story about the difficult situation. It's probably negative and it's one of a handful of ways you probably describe all experiences. For more on this check out the thought/feeling loop.

Number 1: Assessing the Current Experience as Bad

This is “awfulizing” our experience. It’s the tendency to maintain a running negative commentary on anything that falls short of our preferences. Negative assessments like, “This sucks,” “This isn’t fair,” or any of the other host of knee jerk statements make the central nervous system fight-or-flighty. There is an emotional, psychological, and physiological response to the negative commentary. This pulls attention to the threat nested in the assessment and away from the task at hand.

Number 2: Default to Programmed Mental Models

Our beliefs are a prime example of mental models.

1. The Big 3 negative core beliefs (unlovable, unworthy, and helpless/incompetent), and
2.  Intermediate beliefs (our rules and assumptions about ourselves, others, and the world). Intermediate beliefs sit on top of our negative core beliefs and are fed by them. Some external event plucks a raw nerve rooted in the Big 3. We filter it through the “should” nestled in our intermediate beliefs and BOOM, it triggers us to a negative emotional, psychological, and/or physiological response. We unconsciously twist incoming information to make it fit the expectations in our mental models. It transports us mentally and experientially to those expectations, and away from reality and the present moment. What is actually happening is distorted to fit the expectations of what should be happening according to our models. 

Number 3: Mental Time Travel

1. We leave the present experience and time travel to explore past missteps and run simulations based on “I should haves.”
2. We leave the present experience and time travel to the future to explore potential worst-case scenarios. 

Becoming present is easy once you recognize you have drifted off to somewhere else. 

Try the 5, 4, 3, 2, 1 method as an exercise. In the car, at the dinner table, or anywhere else. Here is the structure:

·  Name 5 things you can see

·  Name 4 things you can physically feel

·  Name 3 things you can hear

·  Name 2 things you can smell

·  Name 1 thing you can taste

A Warning

I’m using this model to teach the concept. It’s cumbersome. By all means, practice it in its entirety, but develop your own streamlined model

Wiggle Your Piggies

A very simple method is to wiggle your toes in your shoes. Notice the sensation. Attention can’t be somewhere else if you are aware of your wiggling little piggies. You can't be time traveling, or stuck in any of your junk. You probably just tried it. How did it go? I like using the feet to return to and stay in the present. Ultimately, you want the mind where the feet are, so using the feet as an anchor works well.

To make being present the default you have to practice!